It was a bubbling anxiety in the pit of my stomach last weekend. Brian, his mom, my mom, and I were at Red Robin for lunch Saturday, taking a break from baby shopping, when this kid came running down the aisle with lime green sunglasses, unruly red hair, freckles, and a "you're going to have one of me soon" kind of grin on his face. For that brief moment I could almost picture a freckle-faced, dark haired little Gilmer jumping on the back of a booth or maybe running down a restaurant aisle with a balloon. It was a little unnerving.
I refuse to blame the children. Instead, I place all of the blame on the parents... those, "Hear honey, have a cookie and be quiet" parents or the "If you do what I ask you'll get a surprise" parents. How about "discipline your children so they don't act that way in public" parenting? Maybe they should include that class in the pre-pregnancy regimen of childbirth preparation, childseat safety, and newborn care. Just a suggestion.
Instead of a sign of what could be, I will take the restaurant experience.. and the crazy kids that seem to come with it... as a lesson in life: keep the kid in check or eat at home for the next 18 years.
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hahaha I soooo agree with you... and I get to think that about a hundred times each day!
ReplyDeleteEating out from 1-4 months isn't so bad -they usually sleep- its just now till he is like 10 we will be DINING IN (in home I mean)- so you know we will always join you for a meal in!
ReplyDeleteYou got ahead of me here. I'll post here and consider it a response to the last 3 entries. First, yes dear you are losing your mind. Get used to it because it ain't coming back, at least not the way you remember it. I don't really think its that you lose your mind, but your mind is occupied with so many new things it doesn't function properly (think of a computer trying to multi-task). Try to be conscious of whats going on "under the hood". Its the unsaid and unresolved thoughts that sit around in the unconscious, popping up at inopportune moments that cause that feeling of losing your mind (or blocking the normal flow of thought). Posting in this blog, keeping a private diary and just airing what's going on inside your head with people you trust will help.
ReplyDeleteIf your experience is like mine with you, by the time your child is in school, you won't be much more than a cheerleader. By the time you kids were in 5th grade you were already learning things I hadn't been exposed to thru high school, and I was always an advanced student. You think what you're dealing with now is difficult, wait until you realize your 12 year old child is more educated than you are and your no longer of much use as a tutor. It doesn't mean however that your no longer of any use as a parent. Children can be smart and educated, but they're not necesarily very wise. Believe me , little Gilmer will need you :).
Let me caution you about being too critical of other's parenting skills. I will guarantee that at some point (probably several points) your little darling that you adore so much, that you're so proud of, will cause a scene in a public place and make you feel like the worst parent alive. Thats what kids do. The secret is to find a proper balance of discipline so you raise a good citizen without crushing curiosity or individualism.
I made a lot of mistakes along the line but there were 4 things I did consciously in raising you kids that I think had a positive impact:
1) I tried to always tell you the truth.
2) Even when you were very young, I tried to treat you like you had some common sense.
3) I tried to always trust that you would do the right thing.
4) Overarching the 3 ,I tried to give you the information you needed to function in the world.
Number 4 is the difficult one. All you can do is draw on your life experience and education and do the best you can. Whatever else keep this in mind, life is a process, not an event. In all the roles you play thru life, you won't be judged by the individual successes or failures but by the sum total of it all. Enjoy the process sweetie.
i vote for you last option - that, or have vallium on hand.... kidding! love you baby!!! and if it makes you feel any better, my girlfriend, Veronica is due August 18th and we were just in Applebee's the other day and a baby started crying hysterically - needless to say i had to verbally soothe Veronica down from hyperventilating while making jokes to take her mind off HER soon to be crying baby! but, you'll be ready baby - just like I told Veronica, and you'll deal and you'll love like you've never loved before.
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